I'm cringing a little inside as I write this because I know I'm gonna look like a raging, snotty bitch here.
But I mean...
I found THIS taped to my door a few days ago:
Here's a close-up so you can actually read the text:
That's right... a freaking BENCH PARTY. To assemble TWO benches that have been sitting in their boxes in the middle of the courtyard ALL SUMMER. I have several thoughts on this. What, exactly, do we all pay condo fees for? If this really had to be a group project, is there some reason this couldn't have been organized, say, back in April? Why was Tania initially excluded from the planning of this extravaganza and then penned in at the last second, and what drama ensued from this action? Perhaps most importantly, will people actually SHOW UP with freaking BAKED GOODS for this? If so, how rude would it be for me to take pictures of them and then blog about it?
People, if I could have taken pictures of the farce that was the Bench Party, I would have, but unfortunately this little soiree took place RIGHT outside our unit, and I didn't want the earnest bench architects to follow me home and teach me a lesson.
Nick and I missed the beginning of the party because we were out... but notice how the invitation indicates a start time of 7:30? Well, when Nick and I got home at 9:00, the party was going strong. I was too busy trying not to make eye contact with anyone as we walked awkwardly past without stopping to see if there were in fact baked goods present. (I am the queen of the Inappropriate Laughter, and while I feel free to mock this event pretty mercilessly on my own blog, I wouldn't stoop to actually laughing in people's faces about it. There is a line. A thin one.)
I did, however, note the absolute hilarity of a group of twenty people standing around in the middle of the fully dark courtyard, helplessly clutching power tools and standing over two STILL NOT ASSEMBLED benches. I mean Jesus fucking Christ people! It's bad enough that this had to be an event, but screwing together a couple of benches? It's not rocket science. And for the record, I DID manage to note a total absence of alcoholic beverages at the party, so we can't even pass this off as a bunch of wasted people messing around with power tools (which would also be hilarious).
I'm not sure what time the party ended. I wandered out to the kitchen sometime after 11 and all was quiet in the courtyard. Here's the finished product, I will give them some credit for eventually getting it done:
Looking at these pictures is making me realize it's really best that I take pictures with my actual camera rather than rely on my cell phone so much.