Confession time:
I am really, really not succeeding in getting in shape.
EPIC FAIL.
And I'm embarassed to say that is completely and totally because I am just plain not. working. out. at. all.
I'm extremely frustrated with myself because I was so motivated in the beginning of all of this. I started C25K and I loved it! I actually looked forward to jumping on the treadmill each day and it felt great to really work up a sweat. My legs were sore 24/7 and that felt great too because it felt like Making Progress.
I set myself a goal of doing 100 crunches every day, and for a while I did pretty well with that.
I started making a conscious effort to Make Healthy Eating Choices. Did I completely give up all snacks and sweets? Absolutely not. But nine times out of ten the snack I reached for was a sensible one, and that made that tenth snack feel like an earned indulgence rather than a Bad Decision.
I'm all about Capital Letters For Emphasis today, huh.
It's because I'm feeling sort of stabby.
At myself.
I've now posted five weeks worth of fitness summaries, and at this point I feel like I'm no further along than when I started. I'm no closer to my weight goal and I haven't formed good exercise habits. I didn't even post about the sixth week, because all I could think to write was, "I really didn't work out. Over the weekend I ate far too much saltwater taffy and fudge. I haven't stepped on the treadmill in weeks. Am officially afraid to weigh myself. Go me!" and I just couldn't bear it.
Then again, I felt ashamed of myself for not posting my failure too.
The only positive things I can find to say at this point are:
I am still eating much better overall, taffy notwithstanding,
and
I'm not ready to give up on this. Not by a long shot.
Nor am I willing to accept the fact that October 4th is too close for me to really make a visible difference in my body between now and then.
What does this mean?
It means this restarts now, today. Not on Monday. Not after one last hurrah this weekend. Now.
It means I weigh myself on Monday and post another Trim the Fat post on Tuesday, good results or no.
It means I don't skip a post because I'm ashamed of my results.
It means that I push myself hard enough to feel good about my progress no matter what the scale says.
It means from now on, I do C25K every other day, period, no exceptions.
It means that on the "other" days, I do some other form of exercise, however small.
It means I do 100 crunches every single day, because I am never so pressed for time that I can't fit that in.
It means that I remind myself evey day how fantastic it will feel to finally meet my goal. How great it will be to enjoy my clothes again. How much fun I will have with the engagement pictures if I feel comfortable in my own skin when I have them taken. How much more energy I will have when I'm in better shape and more active.
How much I never want to be in this situation again.
Have any of you had trouble staying consistent with starting an exercise program? Anyone start out as an epic fail and turn it around into a success story? I'm looking for motivation here!
