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November 19, 2008

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Courtney

Ugh, I can so relate. I have never been one of those high maintenance girl friends. I hate that!!! A day apart won't kill anyone and I swear it doesn't mean I have found a new BFF...

Jaci

I get you. It's hard to find time for husbands, work, kids, housekeeping, AND making time to hang out with friends and listen to their issues. Which is probably why I don't have a lot of friends--and it's sad.

Guys are so easy. They don't talk to each other for MONTHS, but the next time they meet they can pick right up where they left off. Girls don't talk for months and they both get pissy with each other for not calling. Ugh.

Katie

lady, I work with attorneys and they all act like junior high chicks. ;)

but I completely understand. I think emotions get involved with women, unfortunately.

spleeness

Maybe this is why I have a lot of guy friends? lol.

I remember going through a period in my 20s where I felt almost like I had to "break up" with some girlfriends b/c they were too high-maintenance. I couldn't deal with the neediness aspect.

But something really great happened -- it took a couple of years for me to sort it all out back then but now I have a nice mix of friends who give and take what they can on any given occasion and accept me on those terms as well. (Just like your best friends that "get" you.)

I think it's great that you ranted about this - what a good topic. If friendships are making us feel bad more than good, or guilty rather than just *being* then they're not contributing to our overall happiness and sense of support but instead detracting from it.

Good friends will recognize that we share what we can of ourselves and back off when we need downtime. Those who won't, well... sorry....

amen, friend! :)

Brandy

I agree friendships shouldnt be all about one person or why did you invite me when you and so and so went to lunch who has time for that definately not me!

Becky

I agree completely. I have had very few female friends even now because I just can't stand the dramatics. Great post(s). I kept reading all the way to the bottom. I was very entertained.

P.S. A grocery store where I live has a cart with a fire engine on it and another has a whale. I rarely use them for my kids though... germ infested piles of plastic. :-p

Michelle

Most of my friends are understanding if you can't join their Bunco group or girls night out. But there will always be those women who get pissed if you say no and stop inviting you. What ever! :)

Kimmers

I love that other people feel this way too - sometimes I feel like the only one who is exasperated by all the drama! I'm loving reading people's comments on the subject.

I'm telling you, the guys have this friendship thing down pat.

Thanks for linking me up Kat! I was spazzing at not being able to link after I actually got my assignment done on time. :)

Mama Kat

I HATE friendship guilt!! It's why I'm closest with my sisters...works out best for me that way.

And don't worry I linked you into Mr. Linky at #47 AFTER you linked yourself. So you're up twice. Oops. :)

Dawn

I find a lot of women are the same...still hanging on to the same issues as JrHS...but then there the other side...women who do nothing but complain about the life they have...either sahm or working moms...ugh...

I just want one in between...

LuckyMe

Yeah, girlfriend! You don't mind if I call you girlfriend and then don't call, do ya?

You're so right. This is one thing we can learn from guys. Raising 3 sons, this is one of the best lessons I've learned from them. I could be so mad at the kid, send him to bed and wake up still mad the next morning. He's happy as a clam. All is forgotten. Oh you can do that? Cool!

Heather

Oh my gosh- you so get how I feel. I, too, am 24 (or will be in a few weeks) and work a full-time job, have my own house, pay a ton of bills and really, really HATE it when my "friends" who sleep half the damn day try to guilt me into doing something. I'm over the whole bar scene too, and and I'm trying to stay on a budget so I can pay all of those bills. I have a friend who seriously hasn't paid her car note in THREE MONTHS. I guess she'll realize the car note was more important than the bar when they come take it away and leave her with no transportation TO GET TO THE BAR. Uhhg.
Done venting now!

Jenners

Alleluia, Sister!

I often feel guilty for dropping supposed friends for EXACTLY the reasons you stated. If you are giving me guilt for not calling you for three weeks, then I have one question for you: Why didn't you call me?

You so nailed it...a real friend is there for you whenever you need them. I've recently connected with some friends from college that I hadn't talked to in 15+ years via Facebook and it was like we just plugged right back in where we left off. After a few e-mails to say "Hey, this is what's been going on in the past 15 years" (Sidebar: Want to feel depressed: Sum up your life in the past 15 years in a paragraph or two) and we just went plugged right back in. No grief, no guilt. I love them for that.

I'm visiting from Mama Kat's writing workshop but I so much enjoyed this that I'm going to add you to my blogroll. Thanks!

Ink and Stone

Nice post. Unfortunately it seems that people seem to "grow up" at different speeds. I've found that the friends (I say that word loosely) who cause the drama are usually the ones who think the world should resolve around themselves.

Gwen

I totally agree!! Why is it that us girls can't just stay the same. Sometimes it's really sad and sometimes it's for the best. The friends that cause all of the grade school crap obviously shouldn't be friends. I have one of those now and I just ignore her. She'll either get over her craziness or we'll move on from each other. Either way what's meant to be will be. Great post!!!

bex

AAAAAMEN.

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